This was one of the most difficult weeks of my life. I know what happened this week is tough for a lot of people and I don’t mean that anyone else didn’t have it as bad or worse than me. I can only speak from my experience.
This week I told Tiffani (my spouse of nearly fourteen years), and then told our children, and then it was announced by our local church leaders to our congregation, that I am seeking the dissolution of our marriage. This decision was not due to any one issue or event, but the slow death of our marriage over many years. I know people want to know because people want to know. But I have no desire to make Tiffani look bad or press anyone to take sides. Please pray for each of us as we pick up the pieces and do our best to parent our children.
I have been silent about this news online because I don’t have the emotional energy to deal with everyone else’s reactions. I don’t intend to say much more in public about the pending divorce. I do desire to continue serving as an American Baptist pastor.
Counting today I will be away from the pulpit for at least three weeks, and will be in the office minimally during that time. The purpose is twofold. First, it allows the church to process this news without having me right there. The congregation needs to process this like good Baptists, as a congregation. Second, it allows me time/space to rest, pray, and regroup for whatever is next.
I am not in a good position at this time to help others process their own feelings, thoughts, and grief about this situation. I am grateful for local (Nancy, Rod) and regional leaders (Greg, Robin) who have stepped up and are willing to help you in this area.
If you have questions about biblical and theological aspects of divorce, I would encourage you to direct those to our regional pastors (Greg, Robin), because anything I say at this time could be interpreted as self-serving.
If you don’t have a close personal relationship with me, haven’t been in meaningful contact with me for years, or I haven’t reached out to you, I might not be responding to your contact anytime soon.
I don’t have answers to most practical questions at this time.